Thursday, September 22, 2011

Birth of an Imago

         Once again, it's Campaign Challenge Time!  The second challenge is a doozy. "Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should include the following: 
               - The word "imago" in the title.
               - Include the following four random words:
                 "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," and synchronicity. (I had to look them up, too!)
          The last optional challenge was to include a reference to a mirror in the post. I elected not to do this one.
          My Palm Beach County history buffs will recognize the murder of Judge Curtis Chillingworth and his wife in June, 1955. For the rest of you, I don't want to give too much front story, but check back on this post in a couple of weeks and I'll answer any questions and give more detail if you'd like.
         I'm number 44 in the challenge. If you like this, please go vote for it HERE. So, without further delay, here's my 200 words....

Picture by Kelly Craig. Added to findagrave.com website.

BIRTH OF AN IMAGO
          
         She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. The warm Florida wind was blowing as the little boat rocked on the ocean. She could feel the dampness of the sea spray on her face. Opening her eyes, she saw the fading lights of her home in Manalapan as the boat pulled further away from shore.  Marjorie looked at the men in the boat with her and her husband, Curtis. The miasma of failure and desperation clung to them along with evil. She prayed for a lacuna in this nightmare—a chance to change what was happening.
            She looked at Curtis who said sadly, “Remember, I love you.”
            From behind her came the sound of a man stifling the urge to oscitate. Hands bound, she turned awkwardly toward him, then looked at the sky and wondered what awful sychronicity led to this time, this place, these men.  Were her children safe? Would her grandchildren remember her?
            One of the men politely said, “Ladies first,” and shoved her into the dark ocean. As she slowly sunk beneath the waves, she saw Curtis jump in after her.  He faded from view in the murky water as she gasped for breath and found none.





51 comments:

  1. Oh no! I hope she gets saved! Okay. Your first paragraph made me homesick for an ocean. Anywhere. I just love the ocean. I love how you introduced the setting before the problem took over. That;s my kind of writing.

    Great job, Ruth! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh no. I hope her children find out what's happened to her. But . . . why are they killing her?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Chilling stuff, Ruth! I loved this bit: "and wondered what awful sychronicity led to this time, this place, these men."
    Mine was #3.

    ReplyDelete
  4. First, I could help noticing the names on the grave marker since they are very close, if not the same as, the characters in the boat. Second, what happened? This is terrible - please forgive me...the writing is obviously FANTASTIC but the situation screams at me. You did an excellent job.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good job. At first, I thought it was the husband and I thought 'why is he killing her when he loves her'. Then I realised they were killing him too. Poignant.

    ReplyDelete
  6. How did they get into that position? I want more details. Good job. mine is #29

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awesome. Powerful writing and you managed to include the words with a sense of strain.

    Stobby

    ReplyDelete
  8. Powerful piece. I will definitely check back for the rest of the story!
    Good Job!

    ReplyDelete
  9. So sad, but beautifully written!

    I'm curious about whether or not that's how they really died. Your story poses so many questions.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Great story! Was this based on some fact? Since seeing the gravemarker with death dates in the same year and noticing that in the tags, you reference the name of the town and the murders....thought I'd ask! ~ Nadja

    ReplyDelete
  11. For those of you who didn't catch it in the preamble, yes, the facts in this story are TRUE. I'll post the rest of the story when the challenge ends. Look for the blog post of October 5 for the rest of the story.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Fatal! Will she be okay or does she die? And what about the children and grandchildren! This was well written!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow, you made me want to read more! ; )

    ReplyDelete
  14. Very well written but it feels as if half of the story is missing.

    ReplyDelete
  15. That was intense, sad and so interesting and well written. I'm off to research...

    ReplyDelete
  16. OMG, a tragic love story. Very well done, Ruth. I'm #34 and a new follower:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anything about the ocean sucks me in. Good job though tragic. Hope many people 'like' you.

    Denise

    ReplyDelete
  18. Very tense scene, I felt like I was right there. Even more chilling since it's based on a true story

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow--if this is based on a true story, it sounds fascinating! I especially love the synchronicity line. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ooh, creepy! I love this, and you weave the words in so effortlessly. Of course, I'm sure the *execution* wasn't effortless, but you made it appear so. Very nicely done! I'm off to vote....

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hello fello Floridian! Loved this piece, very chilling!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Ruth, I really like this. I also see that you have a WIP about Sir Harry Oakes & other tales. I am a really huge fan of "Any Human Heart" and knew who you are referring to instantly :-)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wow! To be able to connect this with a true story is amazing. Good job.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I loved it, it really evoked questions, want to know more about this woman and what's happening to them and more importantly, why! Excellent job!
    - andrea

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is good! Great use of the trick words. Best of luck to you in the challenge!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I know I heard the story of the Chillingworth deaths when I lived in Miami back in the 80's but can't remember the details.

    Wow, you grabbed me by the throat with this piece. Bravo!

    ReplyDelete
  27. "Ladies first" - Chilling! Is she saved? I want to read more. :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. I really liked the contrast of tones from her quiet despair to the man's "oscitation" and the snarky "ladies first." Great.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This has to be the first piece I've read based on an actual murder. Powerful story!

    ReplyDelete
  30. OH! That's pretty shocking stuff! Well written.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Chilling! So of course I had to run google it to learn about the real story. I think you did a wonderful job conveying what might have happened to them. So sad.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Ok, I just had to change my comment! I Google'd it too--how sad! You did an amazing job--it totally brought the scene to life. In fact, I completely forgot about the vocab words because it was so seamless. I could easily see you writing historical fiction! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Wow Ruth, this is good stuff. You hooked me in right from the beginning. To think it was based on a true story, makes me want to find out more. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Awesome! It gave me the chills. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Ahhh! I'm thinking pirates or something. So sad!

    Great job :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh, how sad and sort of terrible to stop there!
    Perhaps the next challenge will be "resolve your cliffhanger from a previous challenge" :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. This was no easy task and you nailed it! Well done. The last line is one that will stay with me. So sad! Thanks for stopping by to read mine! christy

    ReplyDelete
  39. Very, very nice. This really sounds like an intriguing story.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Great tension and description. Terrific writing!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Heart rending.
    Loved the piece.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Sad. Death comes to us all. Well written.

    #188

    ReplyDelete
  43. Wonderful, compelling and sad. Wonderful job with the words and Challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  44. What a wonderfully original take on the challenge. Really enjoyed it!

    #189

    ReplyDelete
  45. What a frightening story. You pulled this off well, but it's a sad event that you related here.


    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hi Ruth, you've won some prizes for my Second Challenge, but I don't have your contact details. Could you please email me on rachael[dot]harrie[at]gmail[dot]com asap so I can set the wheels in motion for your prizes to be sent to you.

    Hugs,

    Rach

    ReplyDelete
  47. Thank you, Rachael! How wonderful! I've sent you an e-mail with my work address. :)

    ReplyDelete