Thursday, September 22, 2011

Birth of an Imago

         Once again, it's Campaign Challenge Time!  The second challenge is a doozy. "Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should include the following: 
               - The word "imago" in the title.
               - Include the following four random words:
                 "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," and synchronicity. (I had to look them up, too!)
          The last optional challenge was to include a reference to a mirror in the post. I elected not to do this one.
          My Palm Beach County history buffs will recognize the murder of Judge Curtis Chillingworth and his wife in June, 1955. For the rest of you, I don't want to give too much front story, but check back on this post in a couple of weeks and I'll answer any questions and give more detail if you'd like.
         I'm number 44 in the challenge. If you like this, please go vote for it HERE. So, without further delay, here's my 200 words....

Picture by Kelly Craig. Added to findagrave.com website.

BIRTH OF AN IMAGO
          
         She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. The warm Florida wind was blowing as the little boat rocked on the ocean. She could feel the dampness of the sea spray on her face. Opening her eyes, she saw the fading lights of her home in Manalapan as the boat pulled further away from shore.  Marjorie looked at the men in the boat with her and her husband, Curtis. The miasma of failure and desperation clung to them along with evil. She prayed for a lacuna in this nightmare—a chance to change what was happening.
            She looked at Curtis who said sadly, “Remember, I love you.”
            From behind her came the sound of a man stifling the urge to oscitate. Hands bound, she turned awkwardly toward him, then looked at the sky and wondered what awful sychronicity led to this time, this place, these men.  Were her children safe? Would her grandchildren remember her?
            One of the men politely said, “Ladies first,” and shoved her into the dark ocean. As she slowly sunk beneath the waves, she saw Curtis jump in after her.  He faded from view in the murky water as she gasped for breath and found none.





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51 comments:

  1. David P. KingSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    Oh no! I hope she gets saved! Okay. Your first paragraph made me homesick for an ocean. Anywhere. I just love the ocean. I love how you introduced the setting before the problem took over. That;s my kind of writing.

    Great job, Ruth! :)

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  2. Sonia LalSeptember 22, 2011 at 9:19 PM

    Oh no. I hope her children find out what's happened to her. But . . . why are they killing her?

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  3. JenSeptember 22, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    Chilling stuff, Ruth! I loved this bit: "and wondered what awful sychronicity led to this time, this place, these men."
    Mine was #3.

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  4. Angela BrownSeptember 22, 2011 at 10:50 PM

    First, I could help noticing the names on the grave marker since they are very close, if not the same as, the characters in the boat. Second, what happened? This is terrible - please forgive me...the writing is obviously FANTASTIC but the situation screams at me. You did an excellent job.

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  5. CherylSeptember 22, 2011 at 11:45 PM

    Good job. At first, I thought it was the husband and I thought 'why is he killing her when he loves her'. Then I realised they were killing him too. Poignant.

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  6. AnonymousSeptember 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    How did they get into that position? I want more details. Good job. mine is #29

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  7. StobbySeptember 23, 2011 at 4:19 AM

    Awesome. Powerful writing and you managed to include the words with a sense of strain.

    Stobby

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  8. FairviewSeptember 23, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    Powerful piece. I will definitely check back for the rest of the story!
    Good Job!

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  9. F.E. SewellSeptember 23, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    So sad, but beautifully written!

    I'm curious about whether or not that's how they really died. Your story poses so many questions.

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  10. Nadja NotarianiSeptember 23, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    Great story! Was this based on some fact? Since seeing the gravemarker with death dates in the same year and noticing that in the tags, you reference the name of the town and the murders....thought I'd ask! ~ Nadja

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  11. Ruth Hartman BergeSeptember 23, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    For those of you who didn't catch it in the preamble, yes, the facts in this story are TRUE. I'll post the rest of the story when the challenge ends. Look for the blog post of October 5 for the rest of the story.

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  12. Cortney PearsonSeptember 23, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    Fatal! Will she be okay or does she die? And what about the children and grandchildren! This was well written!

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  13. Sheri L. Swift, AuthorSeptember 23, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    Wow, you made me want to read more! ; )

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  14. Katharina GerlachSeptember 23, 2011 at 4:54 PM

    Very well written but it feels as if half of the story is missing.

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  15. Shannon LawrenceSeptember 23, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    That was intense, sad and so interesting and well written. I'm off to research...

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  16. Gwen GardnerSeptember 23, 2011 at 8:44 PM

    OMG, a tragic love story. Very well done, Ruth. I'm #34 and a new follower:)

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  17. Denise Covey September 24, 2011 at 5:48 AM

    Anything about the ocean sucks me in. Good job though tragic. Hope many people 'like' you.

    Denise

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  18. Jennifer PickrellSeptember 24, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    Very tense scene, I felt like I was right there. Even more chilling since it's based on a true story

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  19. julie feddersonSeptember 24, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    Wow--if this is based on a true story, it sounds fascinating! I especially love the synchronicity line. Great job!

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  20. Cheryl ReifSeptember 24, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    Ooh, creepy! I love this, and you weave the words in so effortlessly. Of course, I'm sure the *execution* wasn't effortless, but you made it appear so. Very nicely done! I'm off to vote....

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  21. UnknownSeptember 24, 2011 at 8:32 PM

    Hello fello Floridian! Loved this piece, very chilling!

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  22. AnonymousSeptember 25, 2011 at 6:49 AM

    Hi Ruth, I really like this. I also see that you have a WIP about Sir Harry Oakes & other tales. I am a really huge fan of "Any Human Heart" and knew who you are referring to instantly :-)

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  23. AnonymousSeptember 25, 2011 at 8:33 AM

    Intense. I hope someone saves them.

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  24. Christine RainsSeptember 25, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    Oh, chilling. Good job!

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  25. Zan MarieSeptember 26, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    Wow! To be able to connect this with a true story is amazing. Good job.

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  26. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    I loved it, it really evoked questions, want to know more about this woman and what's happening to them and more importantly, why! Excellent job!
    - andrea

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  27. M.K. NissenSeptember 26, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    This is good! Great use of the trick words. Best of luck to you in the challenge!

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  28. mooderinoSeptember 28, 2011 at 6:20 PM

    Dark. I bet it does't end well.

    mood
    Moody Writing
    @mooderino

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  29. AnonymousSeptember 28, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    I know I heard the story of the Chillingworth deaths when I lived in Miami back in the 80's but can't remember the details.

    Wow, you grabbed me by the throat with this piece. Bravo!

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  30. JoelleSeptember 28, 2011 at 6:43 PM

    "Ladies first" - Chilling! Is she saved? I want to read more. :)

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  31. Kurt HartwigSeptember 28, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    I really liked the contrast of tones from her quiet despair to the man's "oscitation" and the snarky "ladies first." Great.

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  32. Golden EagleSeptember 29, 2011 at 8:00 AM

    This has to be the first piece I've read based on an actual murder. Powerful story!

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  33. UnknownSeptember 29, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    OH! That's pretty shocking stuff! Well written.

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  34. Jocelyn RishSeptember 30, 2011 at 1:50 AM

    Chilling! So of course I had to run google it to learn about the real story. I think you did a wonderful job conveying what might have happened to them. So sad.

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  35. CarlaSeptember 30, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. CarlaSeptember 30, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    Ok, I just had to change my comment! I Google'd it too--how sad! You did an amazing job--it totally brought the scene to life. In fact, I completely forgot about the vocab words because it was so seamless. I could easily see you writing historical fiction! ;)

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  37. DebbieOctober 2, 2011 at 5:42 AM

    Wow Ruth, this is good stuff. You hooked me in right from the beginning. To think it was based on a true story, makes me want to find out more. Great job!

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  38. Mina BurrowsOctober 2, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    Awesome! It gave me the chills. Great job.

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  39. ali crossOctober 2, 2011 at 11:33 PM

    Ahhh! I'm thinking pirates or something. So sad!

    Great job :)

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  40. UnknownOctober 3, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Oh, how sad and sort of terrible to stop there!
    Perhaps the next challenge will be "resolve your cliffhanger from a previous challenge" :)

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  41. erica and christyOctober 3, 2011 at 4:34 PM

    This was no easy task and you nailed it! Well done. The last line is one that will stay with me. So sad! Thanks for stopping by to read mine! christy

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  42. Ronald L. SmithOctober 3, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Very, very nice. This really sounds like an intriguing story.

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  43. Michael Di GesuOctober 4, 2011 at 1:29 AM

    Great tension and description. Terrific writing!

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  44. Anna TanOctober 4, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    Heart rending.
    Loved the piece.

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  45. Alex J. CavanaughOctober 4, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    That didn't end well for her...

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  46. the wild magnoliaOctober 4, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    Sad. Death comes to us all. Well written.

    #188

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  47. AnnOctober 6, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    Wonderful, compelling and sad. Wonderful job with the words and Challenge.

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  48. Karen deBlieckOctober 6, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    What a wonderfully original take on the challenge. Really enjoyed it!

    #189

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  49. Arlee BirdOctober 8, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    What a frightening story. You pulled this off well, but it's a sad event that you related here.


    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  50. Rachael HarrieOctober 30, 2011 at 3:41 AM

    Hi Ruth, you've won some prizes for my Second Challenge, but I don't have your contact details. Could you please email me on rachael[dot]harrie[at]gmail[dot]com asap so I can set the wheels in motion for your prizes to be sent to you.

    Hugs,

    Rach

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  51. ruth.the.writerOctober 30, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    Thank you, Rachael! How wonderful! I've sent you an e-mail with my work address. :)

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